Dennis Dodd

... with the snip of a scissors.

Let the Holiday Inn Express cracks begin, but can your quarterback help out with circumcisions?

Move over, Michael Vick. You have a partner.

Not in jail, in the pantheon of Idiots Who Had It All And Then P----- It Away.

By now you know that LSU, the SEC -- and maybe college football -- were knocked silly Friday morning with the news that Ryan Perrilloux has been kicked off the team. A surprise only in that Perrilloux actually let it get this far. The much-troubled Perrilloux finally answered the question: What does it take for the starting LSU quarterback who saved the season, helped win a national championship and could have competed for the Heisman, to get kicked off the team?

Answer: A lot, but Perrilloux apparently met all the qualifications.

At least two outlets were reporting before noon on Friday that Perrilloux had failed a drug test.

Mr. Hubris blew his tentative place on the roster after returning recently from a third suspension. That had every backup on the LSU roster asking: If he got three chances, what happens if I mess up?

This was as much about Perrilloux' misconduct as Les Miles preserving order on the team. If the next kid to get suspended didn't get at least three chances then Miles had a problem. The reason why Perrilloux lasted this long was because he was a star, the starting quarterback, the key to the season. With him, the Tigers were a genuine force in the SEC West coming off that national title. Without him, 6-6 might be a good season.

So Perrilloux had to screw up bad this time. And by bad I mean worse than missing team meetings or trying to pass a fake ID. Those are the things we know about. Of course, the kid's leash with Miles was shorter than a length of dental floss. Hey, there's an image: Miles finally pulled LSU's diseased tooth, even it meant going with inexperienced quarterbacks.

Because of that, I respect Miles now more than I ever have. He essentially chucked the season. At his best, Perrilloux was a unique talent, but not with more suspensions than starts.

And before we go on, I'd like to remind everyone of the happy hour for the entire staff Friday afternoon in Mack Brown's office. Remember that Perrilloux originally committed to Texas. It's a TGILP party -- Thank God It's Les' Problem.

Yeah, Perrilloux is incredibly stupid and arrogant and narcissistic, just like Vick. (What, you forgot the kid predicted four Heismans when he was in high school?) Both quarterbacks thought they were bulletproof. Smooth criminals on different levels. One was a dog killer but both killed their own careers. 

I know that only Vick is serving time in jail. R.P.? He's in limbo, the jail of public opinion. Expect to see him pop up again at Nicholls State or some other Division I-AA outpost. Maybe the Arena League.

There, he can be free, live life the way he wants because, let's be honest, the atmosphere at LSU was soooo stifling.

Ryan Perrilloux needs to be at a place where they really coddle their misbehaving backup quarterbacks.<o:p></o:p>

Move over, Michael Vick. You have a partner.

Not in jail, in the pantheon of Idiots Who Had It All And Then P----- It Away.

By now you know that LSU, the SEC -- and maybe college football -- were knocked silly Friday morning with the news that Ryan Perrilloux has been kicked off the team. A surprise only in that Perrilloux actually let it get this far. The much-troubled Perrilloux finally answered the question: What does it take for the starting LSU quarterback who saved the season, helped win a national championship and could have competed for the Heisman, to get kicked off the team?

Answer: A lot, but Perrilloux apparently met all the qualifications.

Mr. Hubris blew his tentative place on the roster after returning recently from a third suspension. That had every backup on the LSU roster asking: If he got three chances, what happens if I mess up?

This was as much about Perrilloux' misconduct as Les Miles preserving order on the team. If the next kid to get suspended didn't get at least three chances then Miles had a problem. The reason why Perrilloux lasted this long was because he was a star, the starting quarterback, the key to the season. With him, the Tigers were a genuine force in the SEC West coming off that national title. Without him, 6-6 might be a good season.

So Perrilloux had to screw up bad this time. And by bad I mean worse than missing team meetings or trying to pass a fake ID. Those are the things we know about. Of course, the kid's leash with Miles was shorter than a length of dental floss. Hey, there's an image: Miles finally pulled LSU's diseased tooth, even it meant going with inexperienced quarterbacks.

Because of that, I respect Miles now more than I ever have. He essentially chucked the season. At his best, Perrilloux was a unique talent, but not with more suspensions than starts.

And before we go on, I'd like to remind everyone of the happy hour for the entire staff Friday afternoon in Mack Brown's office. Remember that Perrilloux originally committed to Texas. It's a TGILP party -- Thank God It's Les' Problem.

Yeah, Perrilloux is incredibly stupid and arrogant and narcissistic, just like Vick. (What, you forgot the kid predicting a Heisman when he was in high school?) Both quarterbacks thought they were bulletproof. Smooth criminals on different levels. One was a dog killer but both killed their own careers. 

I know that only Vick is serving time in jail. R.P.? He's in limbo, the jail of public opinion. Expect to see him pop up again at Nicholls State or some other Division I-AA outpost. Maybe the Arena League.

There, he can be free, live life the way he wants because, let's be honest, the atmosphere at LSU was soooo stifling.

Ryan Perrilloux needs to be at a place where they really coddle their misbehaving backup quarterbacks.

Big Ten commissioner Jim Delany's calculated plan worked.

Tuesday at lunch, Delany emerged from the BCS meetings and went on a rant about his place (and his conference's place) in the postseason. Remember, Delany doesn't talk publicly about much of anything with reporters. At least lately. This past week he has been practically chatty talking about his league's perception. He, the Big Ten, Pac-10 and Rose Bowl aren't obstructionists, he said, in college football's postseason. In fact, Delany contended, that the Big Ten and Pac-10 have been progressive in helping deliver the Rose Bowl to the BCS. Without it we'd still in the old Bowl Coalition.

"The characterization of the Big Ten and Pac-10 being at one place and everyone else being at the other place, I don't think that's accurate," Delany said. "You guys (media) have an opportunity to talk to a lot of people here. I would ask you to ask each one of those people how strongly they feel about the call for change. I don't see it."

Then Delany lobbed the bomb that changed the course of these meetings.

"Thirty-six months ago, all six commissioners, all six (BCS oversight committee) presidents, the AD advisory committee said we don't want a plus one," Delany said. "About 18 months ago, people people said let's look at it. I think there are a lot of people who like where they are, but they should speak for themselves."

Basically, Delany called out his peers.

If you want a plus-one, identify yourself.

On Wednesday, they did. The six BCS bosses were paraded out for the media to state their case. For: ACC commissioner and the SEC's Mike Slive. Against: Everyone else -- Big 12, Big East, Pac-10, Big Ten and Notre Dame AD Kevin White.

Considering the group needs a consensus to change things, there's a loooooonnnng way to go before we get a playoff. The Big 12 presidents considered the issue in March and turned it down flat. Big East commish Mike Tranghese said, "We're opposed to a playoff. We don't think a playoff is in the best interests of college football."

The great thing was hearing all these powerful public. None of us (media) thought a plus-one would be passed but we weren't expecting what was essentially a public vote. Now these guys are on record. If you want to write your local congressman, er, commissioner now you know where to go.

•  Slive, who stuck his neck out and presented the plus-one, was disappointed that the issue wasn't "vetted" more by presidents at the conference level. The Big 12 was the only league that formally presented the issue to its presidents. The Big 12 presidents rejected anything resembling an NFL-style playoff that meant a team would have to play more than 14 games. A Big 12 champion playing in a plus-one championship game would be playing in its 15th game.

•  The so-called Group of Five non-BCS conferences (WAC, MAC, Mountain West, Conference USA, Sun Belt) have a combined vote but didn't use it because a formal vote wasn't taken.

"There could have been support for a plus-one model if it meant a better chance for a team from the Group of Five to have a chance to play in it," said WAC commissioner Karl Benson. But we're happy with the system with the way it is. It has provided access and it has provided revenue."

•  The so-called "bracket creep" argument doesn't make sense. Several commissioners said they were concerned that a four-team bracket would soon expand to eight or 16. Don't believe the hype. The BCS commissioners (and their presidents) control the BCS. That's different from Divisions I-AA, III and III where NCAA committees control the playoffs.

If the commissioners and presidents wanted a playoff to end at four, it would end at four. There would be no group above them who could overrule.

While I was in Florida ...

•  These schools had more players drafted than Alabama (which had none): Arkansas State, Army, Bentley, Buffalo, Coastal Carolina, Eastern Kentucky, Furman, Gardner-Webb, Hampton, McNeese State, Nicholls State, Northwest Missouri State, St. Augustine's and Wheaton.

•  Matthew Stafford somehow got anointed as the No. 1 quarterback in next year's draft. Stafford is popular with the honeys, loves NASCAR and can lift a keg over his head, but to call him the best NFL quarterbacks prospect after only two seasons? It must be a shallow draft next year. Matthew has yet to throw for 300 yards but has been held under 100 yards six times.

•  Two more bowls made the postseason cut. The approval of the St. Petersburg and Congressional bowls by the NCAA on Thursday brings the number to 34. That's 68 teams for a division that produced only 71 bowl-eligible teams last season. That's also three more than the NCAA Tournament. I'm waiting for the time when the St. Pete and Congressional have to petition the NCAA to allow a 5-7 team in its shindig because there aren't enough teams to go around.